The other day I posted a blog on what depression looks like for me. It would be nice if that was it but unfortunatly it isn't.
On top of depression I also suffer from anxiety. In my other post I likened depression to walking in chest deep mud. Anxiety for me is very different. Anxiety is like the whole world has sped up. There is no space for my mind to catch up with what is happening. Everything is moving so quick that I can't keep up.
For me, that's anxiety. I can't keep up with the world. I can't process the information being received.
The one thing that's worse than anxiety is having depression and anxiety at the same time. It's like a living hell. Keeping the mud idea, having both depression and anxiety is like trying to run in mud to keep up with the world. There is absolutely no hope of that happening. You end up lost, hopeless and exhausted.
My life has been a road with a mix of both depression and anxiety. There are times, when things are all good but there are times when life becomes extraordinarily hard.
There is good news in this though, in a number of areas. I have learnt about people who love me and their faithfullness. I have learnt a lot about the professionals who work in mental illness.
I have learnt a lot about God. There is a verse in the bible which says
"Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God."
That's what I have learnt amidst all of this. God is faithful even in the darkest of places.
If you are suffering from a mental illness, you don't have to deal with it alone. If you are in danger of self harm, please call LifeLine on 13 11 14. Please also contact your GP.
And as I mentioned, you are most welcome to contact me as well.